There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.

When a lady's erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next.

Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.