Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.

Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'