I would much rather end up a fertiliser under a sunflower which is eventually made into sunflower seed oil so that instead of nibbling me in her prawn cocktail, the pretty girl will rub me on her bristols as she suns herself on a beach in the Caribbean.

But the trouble is that when you drink it, you invariably meet other people drinking it.

When I come home and I'm tired from filming all day, I expect her to be there and make sure everything is cool for me. You know, like drawing my bath and helping me into bed.

Then you get into it, especially if you start talking about football, fighting and Muhammad Ali. Then the ladies get very bored and start delivering ultimatums.

I'm really a pacifist.

I like the effect drink has on me.

I have made many serious statements - I just can't remember any of them. I guess they mustn't have been very important.