An atheist is a man who looks through a telescope and tries to explain what he can't see.

Nothing adds to a person's leisure time like doing things when they are supposed to be done.

One of the hardest things to teach a child is that truth is more important than consequences.

Patience is never more important than when you are at the edge of losing it.

Time was when the average person could pay as he goes. Nowadays he has to pay as he comes and goes.

The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.

You're never quite sure how you feel about a neighbor until a 'For Sale' sign suddenly appears in front of his house.