The motorcycle is a device created by the team of God and Darwin to rid the world of useless young males.

America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking and pretty soon you get ideas, and then you get idealism, and the next thing you know you've got ideology, with millions dead in concentration camps and gulags.

I'm not guaranteeing what we come up with will be better for the planet. There is ethanol, for instance, which actually nets out with more pollution at greater expense, and more harm to the environment than petroleum, but we'll come up with something.

Everybody in 15th century Spain was wrong about where China was and as a result, Columbus discovered Caribbean vacations.

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.

My Grandmother wouldn't even speak the word Democrat if there were children in the room, she'd say Bastards instead.

The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a trigonometry problem. What's more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles that come from a lifetime of bad character.