The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."

There aren't many political humorists. Dave Barry is excellent, but he doesn't do it much.

There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list.

Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated.

Italy is not technically part of the Third World, but no one has told the Italians.

There are no kinder or better people in the world than those who listen to you when you are 18.

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.