To mistrust science and deny the validity of the scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.

No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

Politicians are wonderful people as longa as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.

Some women want the strong silent type, so they can tell him to shut up and rearrange the furniture.

Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.