When I became a man, I put away childish things and got more elaborate and expensive childish things from France and Japan.

There's such a self-conscious balance that goes into television. Also, these are not people that think things through.

The real alternative to power of the rich is not power of the poor. It's just plain power.

It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as people that it is often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.

I was never in the office [of Rolling Stone]. It was very different from Lampoon, where we spent a lot of time together socially, which is to say "drunk."

There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily.

This is the most elaborate and luxurious method of convincing others that you can cook. Take everybody out on your yacht until they're green in the face. Then you can rave for weeks about your sauce marinara and no one will gainsay you.