Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

It is true that all of the current presidential candidates once denied that they had any intention of running. But the fact that I am also a liar, doesn't make me a candidate.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself-and possibly teh bogey man.

In opposition to sex education: Let the kids today learn it where we did - in the gutter.

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

I'm often asked why I travel around the country talking politics. Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limousines or the girls? The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!

Why should old people get [Social Security]? They just sit around all day doing nothing.