Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

In conclusion, you can see that there is a place for censors and we only wish that we could tell you where it is.

Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!

The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.