I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.

In conclusion, you can see that there is a place for censors and we only wish that we could tell you where it is.

It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.

In opposition to sex education: Let the kids today learn it where we did - in the gutter.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

Many of you have asked why it's taken me so long to select a running mate. I have no intention of reaching into the political grab bag and grabbing any man to be my running mate. I'm going to reach in and grab a woman!

It is true that all of the current presidential candidates once denied that they had any intention of running. But the fact that I am also a liar, doesn't make me a candidate.