Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered it.

Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.

The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.

It is true that all of the current presidential candidates once denied that they had any intention of running. But the fact that I am also a liar, doesn't make me a candidate.

They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!

Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.

I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.