My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.

The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name.

As far as cookbooks go, I think Joy of Cooking is a classic. I've used it over and over again. Julia Child frustrates me. By the time you get all her herbs together, you're exhausted

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?

My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn't get wrecked that way.

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.

My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.