I'm used to living alone, and I like it that way. You become so selfish living alone...I'd make a terrible husband anyway.

I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.

As far as cookbooks go, I think Joy of Cooking is a classic. I've used it over and over again. Julia Child frustrates me. By the time you get all her herbs together, you're exhausted

I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

I'm Liberace without a piano.