My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables,for that matter.

The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name.

Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?

As far as cookbooks go, I think Joy of Cooking is a classic. I've used it over and over again. Julia Child frustrates me. By the time you get all her herbs together, you're exhausted

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.