I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.

I made mistakes and I broke the law and I'm more than willing to pay a price for that. But there's a price beyond that that my children have paid, and that's not what was supposed to happen.

I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.

I like to work on New Year's Eve. It has a nice spirit; a nice feel about it. If you are all about the 'year-end' thing at all, then laughing with fellow human beings is a great way to start the new year.

I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd.

There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.