I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.

I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.

If only someone would do for cows what Bambi did for deer. Cows have been in films, but they haven't starred. I'm still willing to eat a species that is only a supporting player.

I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.

I also like a great Caesar salad with anchovies, although I don't know why some places say 'with anchovies.' If you're making a proper Caesar salad, it's going to have anchovies.