Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.

My whole take on libertarianism is simply that I don't know what's best for other people.

'Psycho' is fascinating philosophically, because the point of 'Psycho' is that everything that's bad happens because of love.

I don't believe in vengeance. Really, when all is said and done, I probably don't believe in punishment.

Every poker player is smarter than me.

No one can tell you the rules of 'Celebrity Apprentice.' No one. Donald Trump just does what he wants, which is mostly pontificating to people who are sucking up to him, while the network people try to manipulate him into making the highest-rated show they can.

Before you can read, you know the difference between a story and reality. And, of course, by the time you're old enough to do any real damage with an Uzi, you've learned that difference.