Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.

The vast majority of the world knows there's no reason to circumcise. Someone should tell the doctors.

If you want to turn out an atheist child, unconditional love constantly is a good way to do it.

I never wanted to be a magician. I never wanted to be a comedian. I never wanted to be onstage.

Technology adds nothing to art. Two thousand years ago, I could tell you a story, and at any point during the story I could stop, and ask, 'Now do you want the hero to be kidnapped, or not?' But that would, of course, have ruined the story. Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision.

Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty.

You have to be careful as a libertarian because you can sound very Republican.