I was always a little embarrassed when there was an act on television that requires a great deal of skill but is a little goofy, and the host comes over and acts like the person doing this skill is some sort of fool for having learned to do something that's very, very difficult.

Charities are really good. To a certain extent, the ones you pick are arbitrary.

I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke.

When I buy Windows 98, I'm not only buying something useful, I'm giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing.

If you like the stuff I do, my chances of liking you go up.

Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.

The reason I'm an I.B.M.-type guy today is that I really needed a laptop back in 1986, and I just couldn't wait for the Powerbook.