I was always a little embarrassed when there was an act on television that requires a great deal of skill but is a little goofy, and the host comes over and acts like the person doing this skill is some sort of fool for having learned to do something that's very, very difficult.

I don't want anyone as president who promises to take care of me. I may be stupid, but I want a chance to try to be a grown-up and take care of my family.

It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people yourself is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral, self-righteous, bullying laziness.

When someone is trying to interpret something for you, they always have an agenda.

I don't think I'm made of the right stuff to be a politician. I think I'm made to be a loose cannon.

Love and respect all people. Hate and destroy all faith.

If you like the stuff I do, my chances of liking you go up.