Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty.

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

The first thing I said to myself on 9/11 was, 'There go our civil rights.' I found out by comparing notes later that George Carlin and I both said that at the exact same time. That's the first thing that popped into our head.

Technology is run by sex, because it's very important to people, both technology and sex.

When someone is trying to interpret something for you, they always have an agenda.

If you spend a lot of time lying to people, you think a lot about what the truth means.

I mean, if I believed, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that a truck was coming at you, and you didn’t believe that truck was bearing down on you, there is a certain point where I tackle you. And this is more important than that.