I live in Vegas, and I see people by the side of the road with cardboard signs who seem like they might have tried that spending their way out of debt thing.

My whole family is missing that sports gene. I hope I didn't screw that up by marrying a great golfer.

That whole 99% thing, they are all in the 1% of the world. Every one of them pays a cellphone bill that is the yearly income for a family in much of the rest of the world.

In music, if you hit a wrong note, people forgive you. In magic when something goes wrong, the entire art is destroyed.

The characters and events depicted in the damn bible are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

It wasn't success, because Teller and I, by the time Asparagus Valley got together - within a year, we had achieved all our goals. I mean, our goal was to earn our living doing exactly what we wanted. Which is many people's goal.

I've been fired from a situational comedy with a script they wrote specifically for me because of my voice.