If you are doing something for reward or punishment, you do not have morality.

Only Atheists have morals, the religious have reward and punishment. That's not morality, that's sucking up.

The first thing I said to myself on 9/11 was, 'There go our civil rights.' I found out by comparing notes later that George Carlin and I both said that at the exact same time. That's the first thing that popped into our head.

A lot of people, to attack an outspoken atheist, one of the things they'll do is say, 'You are as bad as the fundamentalist Christians.' And my answer is always, 'I hope so.'

God works in mysterious, inefficient, and breathtakingly cruel ways

Counterintuitive action makes a fellow feel smart.

World War II proves there's no God.