I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.

Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.

Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they'll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There's no place like home!