I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.