The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Garlic bread - it's the future, I've tasted it.

You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.