Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.
You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?