Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Garlic bread - it's the future, I've tasted it.

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.