Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.
I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they'll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There's no place like home!
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?