Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

You never know where to look when eating a banana.

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.