Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they'll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There's no place like home!

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

You never know where to look when eating a banana.