Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
Phyllis DillerOnce my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
Phyllis DillerI was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
Phyllis Diller