I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high; it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.

Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.

My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.

Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!

... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.

Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.