The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

Comedy is tragedy revisited.

Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!

My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.

I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.

I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high; it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.

Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.