... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.

My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.

I got my first laugh when my mother entered me in a baby contest.

Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.

Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.