... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.

I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'

Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.

This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to buy a gun for my husband.' The clerk says, 'Did he tell you what kind of gun?' 'No,' she replied. 'He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.

get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.