You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.

Before you get married you should meet your fiance's parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.

I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt.

You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!