They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!

I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!

I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."

My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.

I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.

When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.

My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.