When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.

Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most wonderful dream -- I dreamed that mothers-in-law cost money and I couldn't afford one.

If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.

I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.

Some wives have model husbands, I got one that needed remodeling.

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.