When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.

Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!

I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?

Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.

You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

Comedy is tragedy revisited or hostility. It is mock hostility, of course, or it would be ugly; we would have a war.