I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'

My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.

The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when you're away from them, who needs it?.

Some wives have model husbands, I got one that needed remodeling.