I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.

When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they're early, so naturally you're not ready.

We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.