Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
You've got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It's when somebody steps on the bride's train, or belches during the ceremony that you've got comedy!
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.