I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
Phyllis DillerWhen I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I still take the pill; I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis DillerThe doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
Phyllis Diller