It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.

A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.

A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.

I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff.

We live in what virtually amounts to a museum - which does not happen to a lot of people.

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years.