Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort - provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

It's not a very big one, but at least it's dead and it took an awful lot of killing!

Constitutionally I don't exist.

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.