If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.

The French don't know how to cook breakfast.

If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort - provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.

If a cricketer suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, are you going to ban cricket bats?

Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.