It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.

What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.

Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): "What's the matter, sexy? Don't you like dehydrated fruit?

No effort is required to define or even attain happiness, but enormous concentration is needed to abandon everything else.

You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.

I never spend my time doing anything I'll have to do again tomorrow.

As far as I know, you can fancy someone, you can enjoy their company or you can wish them well. But what being in love is, I don't know.