I'm always giving myself the Alzheimer's test. My shrink told me to do this. It takes one minute. You name every word that comes to mind that begins with the letter F.

That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.

The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

When you go to standup, there seems to be a common denominator of some form of need or want for validation from the audience that maybe you were lacking as a kid.

As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.