People think living in your parents' basement until you're twenty-nine is lame. But what they don't realize is that while you're there, you save money on rent, food, and dates.

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

I married a saint - well, a saint who curses.

I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.

I was at home waiting for projects. I was on Parenthood and there was one season left, and I was thinking, "What's next?" I'm at this age where I'm trying to write my own script, and they sent this over and I decided to put myself on tape.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.