Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness.'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.

For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

I love hitting into the rough because it gets me close to the people.

The fact that they let me in a movie with Gene Hackman has left me with no faith in show buisness.

I put myself on tape and the cool thing was that Martin Scorsese had never heard of me. He had never seen [Everybody Loves Raymond]. I was just an unknown actor to him. I don't want to sound conceited, like he has to know who I am, but that seemed a little odd. He's a film genius. He doesn't watch sitcoms.

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.