For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

I still got my hair, I'm not fat.

People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film.

Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I also feel the aches and pains a little bit.

I don't want to be a spokesman for family values, but that's the way my standup is perceived.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.