I have this mistress: show business.

I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.

The fact that they let me in a movie with Gene Hackman has left me with no faith in show buisness.

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.

I'm always giving myself the Alzheimer's test. My shrink told me to do this. It takes one minute. You name every word that comes to mind that begins with the letter F.

In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.