I have this mistress: show business.

You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.

Why can't I love him (a 2 yr old nephew) from afar? That's how I want to love him - through pictures and folklore.

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

I like doing film, you know, single-camera.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.