If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

I love standup and I haven't given it up.

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

I'll be spending the holidays with my family. Nothing special, just some light bickering and biting sarcasm.

I was at home waiting for projects. I was on Parenthood and there was one season left, and I was thinking, "What's next?" I'm at this age where I'm trying to write my own script, and they sent this over and I decided to put myself on tape.

If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.