George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!

Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!

Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show? Never got a dinner!

Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!

J. Paul Getty, who still hasn't been buried - they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!

Dean Martin's pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner!

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!